Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
