Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
