wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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