stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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