I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
