they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
