What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
