Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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