He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize