it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
