so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
