I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
