A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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