I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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