apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
