walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
