What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
