I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
