I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
