someone owes me an orgasm
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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