My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Watching her eat just hurts me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
third nipple confirmed
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
