Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
