3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
