I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
