I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
