Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
