I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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