the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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