I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
