I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
