drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize