You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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