We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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