If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize