talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
