My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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