I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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