Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
