God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize