i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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