she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize