I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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