ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
