Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
