he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
