I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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