Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
