I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
jump out the window naked night went bad
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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