So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
