Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
