you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
