i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
