Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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