is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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