? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
