i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
farters have to be the big spoon...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
