apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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