Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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