If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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