We're facebook friends in real life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
