i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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