the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
